Feeling At Home With Conscious Body Language


As popular as the subject of body language training is becoming,

what if 95% of what is now being discussed still misses a crucial point?

Brilliant people from social and behavioral scientists to psychologists and actors are now marketing themselves as body language experts, and rightly so. They are all demonstrating the impact body language when we communicate. From flirting to negotiating complex contracts, just about everyone now agrees you are at a disadvantage if you miss important signals. Yet, do you recognize the following?

TV, Reality or TV Reality?

Just about every single time I do a workshop, seminar or some personal coaching, I will point out some body language signal. Whether it is for the group or a single person, I will demonstrate what they are doing, then suggest something more efficient. Nearly everybody then politely tries it and most everyone usually looks pleased with the result. 30 seconds later, they go right back to their old habit. Whether it is:

  • Breathing in a more inspiring way
  • Aligning with the force of gravity instead of struggling against it
  • Standing more in your power
  • Shaking hands in a more cooperative and agreeable fashion

or any number of other behaviors, gestures and even postures, most everyone verbally agrees to what a difference it makes. Yet just like watching a TV show, they quickly return to their comfortable and familiar position, as if what just happened was a commercial break. They return to business as usual regardless of the consequences to their health and their efficiency to communicate. Does this also make you wonder if we really are creatures of habit, like many philosophers have argued, or are we responsible human beings capable of controlling, adjusting or mastering our own behavior?

Dare to Feel the difference your Body Language makes!

After studying this phenomenon for many years it is becoming more and more clear that those few listeners who choose to consciously Understanding Seduction change their habit directly are those who dare to feel a difference. They allow the suggested adjustment to touch them emotionally. Everyone else seems to have politely gone through the motions. Many of them often look like they may actually have sensed something, but they quickly return their focus to the motions (instead of the emotions) and thereby avoid any long-lasting improvement. Put another way, they seem to react mechanically, as you would by touching your hand to a hot stove. They have no problem measuring the difference, but by actively avoiding having to sense how it feels nothing else is gained. Could this subtle difference be the crucial one separating those who just collect more knowledge about body language, as a gimmick, from those who dare feel, understand and master it?

Dare to Experience, the Real Teacher

This distinction also seems to separate most of those who now teach body language methods from those who focus on sharing with others a warm and sensational level of consciousness of their work. Yes, body language can be a completely intellectual exercise and many powerful, well-meaning and well thought out demonstrations currently are. They even write programs for body language metrics now, don’t they?

You can train others to read and adjust body language just as you train for a math test or a spelling bee, but how does all that extra knowledge make you feel? No matter how good you get at recognizing different gestures and patterns intellectually, you can easily still miss the warm and moving dimension of feeling the effects. What if this simple but crucial distinction of consciously daring to relax and feel separates well-meaning, well-trained human doings from an open and growing community of sensitive and connected human beings?

So here is both my commitment to this fascinating field as well as my invitation to you. I am committed to mastering the teaching of conscious body language so you can feel the difference enough to act. You can count on me to continue to develop better, sensational soft skills to achieve this. Soft skills that easily, efficiently and enjoyably invite you to actually feel the difference and become conscious of what every cell in your body is expressing. Tools that urge you to experience, to sense and to feel how each little adjustment you make affects how you feel and how you can influence how others feel to be with you.

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